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The ultimately salty fake cheese for use on ham sandwiches, omelettes, toasted cheese sandwiches. Keep a huge slab of it around in its own Tupperware container so you can cut a slab whenever you want to nosh. |
| Mama's classic cheap non-fattening dessert. It also doubles for the classic 'rings' and 'molds' with grapes, berries, etc. that is required for somebody to bring to all large picnic outings. |
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Oscar Meyer wieners aren't as good as Sabrett's but are probably more nourishing, if hot dogs can be considered nourishing. But, hell, I went to high school with O-Scar Jr, so I'll plug them. (But I never realized he had sold out to Kraft.) |
| The all-time classic thirst quencher that doesn't do that at all (especially if you load it up with sugar). But it keeps the kids running around until dinner time. |
 KOOLAID |
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Nowhere NEAR as good as Hellman's, but it was considered classier for mothers to use it as a salad dressing instead of plain mayo. When I got this in my tuna salad and complained, I was told it tasted just the same and was 'better' for me -- little did she know.... I now have a built-in Mircacle Whip detector and will say no thanks without even having to taste. |
| American cheese slices, a contribution to world cuisine via the cheeseburger! Velveeta never caught on outside the US, but the individual Kraft cheese slice is everywhere. Most people in this country even prefer this to Swiss or Cheddar, even though those types are mostly ersatz too. Did this stuff ever come
out of a cow? Not that much of it after the processing. |
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 So much for Kraft; let's have a go at Nabisco now.
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| I have nothing bad to say about Oreo cookies, even if they are not particularly healthful (especially
if you like to crush up a packet in a cereal bowl and eat it up drenched in heavy cream -- not half & half,
although that will do in a pinch -- as I have done on occasion). |
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Gee, I didn't realize Nabisco made dog biscuits too until I visited their web site to steal some GIF's
for this page. I have eaten Milkbones at times and rather like them. |
| Planters Peanuts now owned by a huge conglomerate? Is nothing sacred? When I was a kid I
thought that peanuts had been invented by Mr. Planters with the top hat and monocle -- he was real
cool. |
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 And let's not forget about Hostess.
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| Hostess Twinkies and Snoballs: What can one say? Try this enticing
Web Page for some ingenious Twinkie recipes and other sickening things. This one sounds scrumptious: a twinkie/tuna casserole. |
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 The miscellaneous section follows.
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| Chef Boyardee Spaghetti: real pasta is no good if it doesn't have the salty taste and
glutinous texture of this. Spaghetti-o's are even worse, but they didn't have that when I was a kid. |
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 Chicken noodle soup, split pea soup, tomato soup, pork and beans.... If I had a fallout shelter, it would be stocked full of this stuff. |
| Peanut butter and Mayonnaise are the staple foods produced by CPC International. Of everything mentioned on this web page, these are products I would never be caught without. |
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 Ketchup (or Catsup) goes on everything. This is the UNIVERSAL sauce until
you get old enough for hot sauces (and even then it will remain your fall-back for when you are in doubt
or can't be bothered to select anything else). |
